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Búsquedas curiosas en Google

Buenísima esta entrada en el Blog de Javi Moya.

Una recopilación de búsquedas que la gente hace en Google y que acaban en su Web y por lo tanto en su log.

Eso sí: Advierto que algunas de las frases pueden herir sensibilidades. Sólo para mayores de 18 años.


Frases de búsqueda

  • mojón con patas: ¿Porqué salimos yo y mi matagatitos en el primer puesto de Google? Grrrr !
  • como hago para q mi novio no me toque tanto la vagina durante un beso: xD
  • por que me da ganas de vomitar luego de un orgasmo ?: Tu novio es un bromista. Te ha dicho que el clítoris lo tienes en la campanilla, ¿verdad?
  • como hacer para cuando uno se masturba le salga semen : ups… me da a mi que hay algo que no estás haciendo bien…
  • me sale un cuadrado arriba a la izquierda: no hace falta que des mas detalles… Google ya sabe a que te refieres y ahora te dará la solución.
  • mi esposa me quiere meter su dildo por el culo: te advertí que no se lo compraras… pues ahora te aguantas y la haces feliz… dale ese capricho… si al final acabará gustándote y todo.
  • para que sirve el aire en la entrada de el corte ingles: juer… que buena pregunta… ¿alguien sabe la respuesta?
  • hola como estan soy jonathan y gogle es la mejor pagina de internen: Y ahora tu búsqueda le llega a Larry Page o Sergey Brin y te mandan una alfombrilla para el ratón por pelota.
  • quiero ver sexo ahora sin tener que pagar nada ni tener que hacer nada solo masturbarme: ala ! eres bastante comodón tu… ¿no?
  • la caca de gato puede estar detrás de muchos casos de esquizofrenia en humanos, … ami me gusta la caca …es muy rica….y la paso con meao…aaajajaja …: WTF ¿?¿?
  • si mi novio quiere hacer el amor y quiere solamente q le chupe el pene porque sera: Porque te ama demasiado… y te regala su néctar. Los hombres no sentimos nada cuando nos la chupan. De hecho nos resulta doloroso… pero fingimos muy bien simplemente para haceros feliz.
  • mujeres teniendo sexo con elefantes caballos perros y cerdos: a ver que imagine la escena… el perro por delante, mientras el caballo le da por detrás… y a los lados el elefante y el cerdito. Esto parece una peli de la Disney: Rebelión en la Granja 2.
  • compro aro durex usado: Ante todo higiene. Así me gusta. Cuando acabes me lo pasas.
  • que hacer cuando uno tiene ganas de sexo y no tiene a su pareja: En dos palabras… Amanda Wenk.
  • ay algun psicologo ahorita que este conectado para ablar?: Esta se ha creído que google es un chat, ya verás…
  • miss mierda 2006: pobrecilla la que quedó primera dama de honor… quería ser caca y no llegó a nada. (¿cómo sería la corona de la ganadora? ¿con forma de inodoro?).
  • ¿puedes quitarle ah alguien vivo un pulmon para hacer un transplante?: Sí… pero procura que no se de cuenta, que se puede enfadar.
  • cada pedo q me tiro es un beso q t mando: Hay cada poeta suelto en Internet…
  • como dicen te quiero los timidos: te… te… ¿que hora tienes?
  • como hacer una mamada a un perro: Nunca estaremos suficientemente agradecidos al que inventó Internet, ¿eh?
  • como le pido a mi novia sexo anal : no se lo pidas… dale una sorpresa :-)
  • el sexo anal cagando instrucciones: esto me supera.
  • en busca del coño la bernarda: (con musiquilla de Indiana Jones) si lo encuentras me avisas.
  • es bueno tragarse el flujo vaginal de la mujer: sí sí… buenísimo… sobretodo los días en que tiene la regla. Delicioso.
  • gifs animaciones de cancer de mama: A ver… ¿como se hace un gif animado de eso? ¿un dibujito de como te amputan una teta, o que?
  • guia para cambiar bombona de butano: vale, parecía imposible pero hay alguien mas torpe que yo.
  • pastillas para hacer dormir a las mujeres y violarlas: con lo barato que sale emborracharlas… y hace el mismo efecto (y luego además no recuerdan nada y te llaman para que las vuelvas a invitar).
  • tienes unos ojos tan bonitos que te comeria todo el: completar la frase.
  • porfavor necesito saver sobre daddy yankee es para un trabajo de la escuela: Google te va a responder aunque no se lo pidas por favor (¿la gente cree que cuando buscan algo hay detrás una persona o qué?).
  • soy virgen pero estube a punto de tener sexo sin condon es posible quedar embarazada: a ver… específica que significa eso de “estuBe a punto”… ¿te refieres a que te metió la puntita?
  • el ginecologo se da cuenta de la primera ves de la mujer : Sí, totalmente. Jajajaja… la vergüenza que vas a pasar la próxima vez que vayas xD Guarra !
  • remedio para tener ganas de follar todos los dia con la mujer: No querías monogamia… pues toma monogamia.
  • me gusta que me la chupen: Me alegro. ¿Y a Google que coño le importa? ¿porque se lo cuentas?
  • super polla de criptonita video: ¿La última arma de Lex Luthor?
  • como ser chica de compañia y ganar mucho dinero: Padres, ponerle Internet a vuestras hijas… por su futuro.
  • tener relaciones anales hace sacar trasero: sí sí… y el semen es buenísimo para el cutis y cura las caries.
  • se me apaga el ordenador con peliculas porno: pues eso es una putada tío xD te deja las pajas a media, ¿no?
  • quiero un hechizo para que mi pareja no deje de pensar en mi: grrrr… bruja !
  • sitios que hacen que se te pare el pene: ¿?
  • estoy con una chica pero ella tuvo sexo con su primer enamorado : sí sí… la vieja historia de que sólo ha estado con uno. Es como las cucarachas; si ves una es que ya han pasado 50.
  • mi novio dice que estoy gorda: entonces es que estás obesa… como una foca asquerosa. Capta la indirecta de una puñetera vez… quiere romper contigo. No se lo pongas más difícil, ten un poquito de dignidad y lárgate.
  • mi pc se apaga y aparecen unas letras blancas: sí… “Ya puedes apagar tu equipo con seguridad”, ¿no?
  • fotos de sexo nasal: ¿? Como le de por estornudar en ese momento…

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